i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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