ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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