I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
