I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I am mentally ready for anal.
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