Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
