loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Say something about gay babies.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
