We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize