you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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