Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
