dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
