I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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