Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
