we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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