He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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