Those balls look pretty dangerous.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
