There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
