and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Randomize
