just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
