dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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