While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
