I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
She needs sedatives and a leash
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
