She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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