scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
