My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
