FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You were trust falling into bushes
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize