Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
