duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
