Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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