Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Randomize
