So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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