i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
