found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
