I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
