Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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