I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
