Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
The Olympian is in my bed
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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