In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
