Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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