so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
