she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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