shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
