Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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