i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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