May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
