You work out of a Hotel?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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