Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
