Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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