My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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