you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
