I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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