She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
