I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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