so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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