Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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