either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
i've created a new STD.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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