good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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