One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
