can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize