wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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