Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
